Işte o an !

.. and the mail agony has begun !

ağlatan mail ..

yes, but i tell about my job and my study ?
yours,

Dear Dusty,
Do you even know what a CV is ?
Yours,

Hello Miss ,


I have a question about the CV for monday
you should think about your own work or what i really do i daily life?
thankyou!

Yours,
Dusty

gülümseten mail ..

Goodmorning miss,
We already found an interesting brand for our pitch: Coca Cola
We hope that you confirm this and untill next week.

Your sincerely,
Steven

Goodmorning (again) miss,

After sending you the email we thought about our subject (coca cola) again and decided to change it, because we now think that that's a too big of a company. We also believe that their marketing is quite good anyway. So, we like to change the subject and the brand we'll be working with is going to be RABIES. This is a young company of a friend of mine which provides a variety of clothing. The company has little knowledge of advertising so I guess this forms a nice brand to work with.
Above that Joost and I both wear the clothes on the regular, so we definitely are able to identify with the brand.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Your sincerely,

Steven

o şarkı



eva's loss

"A profusion of pink roses bending ragged in the rain speaks to me of all gentleness and its enduring."

"Which is loveliest in a rose?

Its coy beauty when it's budding,

or its splendour when it blows?"

Dearest,

Today, the roses didn't bloom in the grey city, instead they whispered your untimely demise. Numb yet aware, I managed to comprehend. So, I silently turned to the most graceful one and asked, ‘before indulging myself into taciturnity, please tell me where to send my moans ?’ I've promised you my grieving, no' ! So, if I keep to my side of the bargain, will you promise me to scroll your gorgeous scented buds open into large, deep colorful blooms with the most perfect, flawless curves ? Will you promise to explore your new world, vividly though ?

Don't try to make any difference, just move forward.
Fair enough ?

Pandora's Ballad

Merely a new start or the end of an era ?

The mysteriously disappeared hopes - since clueless - emerged up from pandora's ballad today.

Now, sir, am I a fool ?

Dearest, "I am disposed to be gregarious and communicative tonight."

Am I a fool for wanting a wish from the wish-people, so I won't have to wait áges in order to get my wishing to be wished. On the other hand, do I dare to provoke the greater good-people or should I just disregard my desire ? However, ignoring my darkest cravings won’t dismiss my earnest indulgence, nor my longing in order to get my wish fulfilled. It’s almost compulsive, no'.

I - must - embrace - and - lure - them !

"When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers"

Even true, would it be wise to challenge myself by allowing such an indulgence, as my biased persona is a sporadic prayer and doesn't deserve such a 'garment' ? Nah, not trivial; I am and will remain paranoiac anyway. Therefore, an enhancement, Lüci, bite me !
Perhaps, allowing such a curiosity could be seen as a victory, hence my childhood wishing credence. Oddly enough, I don't seem to recall it.
Hmm, what's going on eva' !
Anyways, for many years now, I have been embracing myself to this wishing thing; “sprinkle wishing dust and so my wish will come true,” I’m genuinely an opinioned zeal about it, so I will definitely challenge this.

Also, being a worrywart doesn’t make life easier, hence my ‘luxurious’ problem. Even worse, I have forgotten what I wanted to wish for. I guess it was merely a wishful thinking though; nothing more nothing less.

Good for you ….you fusspot.

...

Perhaps that's what I feel, an outside and an inside and me in the middle, perhaps that's what I am, the thing that divides the world in two, on the one side the outside, on the other the inside, that can be as thin as foil, I'm neither one side nor the other, I'm in the middle, I'm the partition, I've two surfaces and no thickness, perhaps that's what I feel, myself vibrating, I'm the tympanum, on the one hand the mind, on the other the world, I don't belong to either.

Pennie vol. 139

Now I'm singing,

Money can't buy it ..
Sex can't buy it ..
Drugs can't buy it ..
You can't buy it .. baby

Annie Lennox - Money Can't Buy It

You Said Ache ?

Turmoil of the day;
headache, mustleache, stomachache, eyeache, neckache, earache and again eyeache and - ache - ache ..

Dearest Lord, it's like banshee's mourning call, for every inch of my body and soul hurts. Really, this psyche is such an ordeal, specially when  feeling fatigue and nauseous all day; You know, that at some point the aches begins to ache  .. fiercely !

hate the sin, love the sinner ?

İs it a doctrine, since we're taught not to sin and stay aloof from the sinner;
or is it truly possible to love a sinner while hating the sin/s ?

How exactly does that work ?

Revolution Mania

Yet another history exclamation, a dictator taken down;
revolution, liberation, freedom for Egypt .. ?
One can only hope so !

Honestly,
stunning, extraordinary scenes, images, broadcasts from Egypt !

as we say in Turkish,
'mubarek olsun' ..

yummie

It might not be a "fruitcake",

yet this  peace of artwork called "fruit-ice",

did, however, ease my "breakdown" ..

must -

 have -

 more -

- yummie..

Fruitcake

Fruitcake; what are signs of a nervous breakdown' .. really what are they?
For,I feel like I'm on the edge of some kind of mental breakdown ..

I'm telling you since the finals has begun, I honestly think that I'm on the edge of losing it. The slack - and cantankerous behavior that the students exhibited during the finals are seriously giving my poor heart a negative boost. Moreover, I don't know which one is worst, the mediocrity or the triviality; lack of seriousness and completely failing yet another course !

fail, fail, fail,
omg a pass - praise the Lord and say 3 hail marys,
and suddenly yet another fail..

Yeah, it was to good to be true aynyway .. hmpf !!

just kill the darn wizard

I went to Oz to get myself a heart,
The only thing I've got instead,
is this peculiar ache .
Would it be too late,
to rip this 'thing' out,
And return to my oblivious times,
When I felt nowt ?

Oh Dear..

Seriously,
my head is about to explode !

Aye, only if I could teleport myself to İstanbul right now !!

Yet Another Final Burden

I think I can say this on the behalf of me, myself and I, and also on the behalf of my students,
that this was such an unfortunate, awful, weary week ..

Unfortunately because, due to the finals we were obliged to watch the podcast over and over again zzzz ! Hence, Mr. Schwartsz paradox of life sucked our desire to live out of our veins ..(at least mine for sure) Since watching something you've seen one to many time,could become a serious agony though. And as if were up to me, I'd rather be at the cinema for real relaxation, no'; I must say that I've only have one more class to go, and than I'm off for two weeks. Although, I'm not really off since I've got to check and grade reports, tests, essays etc, I still think that it would be rather rude and ungrateful to complain on such a minor issue. (yups, all of the sudden it became a minor issue)
But again, I'm genuinely defeated and exhausted, and soo in need for a moment or two to unload again.

Sadly enough, I've still got one more mandatory torture seance to go, than I'll be done ..
Actually, that pretty much covers it for us all ... torture !
But;
perhaps, aah perhaps,
I'll/we'll manage and survive the finals without any visible marks,
bruises will do though !

secretly,

I ❤my job

yeayeayeaah ..

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Villian
Barry Schwartz on the paradox of choice

The Torture Victims
 - look them suffer, how sweet, no'!

Benim (kart) çekirgeler ❤

blablabla .... bla

My soul has the flu !

İt's almost Wednesday,
Can't say İ'm thrilled 'bout it though ..

I Never Promised You a Rose Garden

You know, it seems like I have developed a love for dystopian novels, since I have decided to re-read this book all over again. Perhaps I will see and/or discover new indepths and explore the richness of new point of view(s) .. Seeing things from new perspectives.. Will keep you posted though !

The first time I was aghast, for the storyline was so realistic and genuine. Moreover, I was seriously stunned how the writer managed to express a teenage girl's battle, her sobriety, her 'worlds' so vividly and sincere. Simply, def. recommended !

"Deborah, watching, saw what would be to her forever after the symbol of the impotence of all mental patients: the blow again, calm and accurate and merciless, and the spitting back again and again."

"I never promised you a rose garden. I never promised you perfect justice ... and I never promised you peace of happiness. My help is so that you can be free to fight for all of those things. The only reality I offer is challenge, and being well is being free to accept it or not at whatever level you are capable. I never promise lies, and the rose-garden world of perfection is a lie ... and a bore, too!"

"her presence was making them struggle with Maybes. Suddenly she realized that she was a Doris Rivera, a living symbol of hope and failure and the terror they all felt of their own resiliency and hers, reeling punch-drunk from beating after beating, yet, at the secret bell, up again for more."

Making Maple Syrup

Zaman zaman dystopia da çiçekler açarmış !
Öğrenmiş olduk !

...however,
I wouldn't dare to gloat nor flatter myself,

since utopia is still a million stars away..

Nit de l'Albà

Did İ ever mention that the huss and fuss of this chaotic city totally weares me out ? That even the domestic tranquility, hence the latest 'snow fun', can't cheer me up, no'..

Where can İ find the sensational secret of everlasting tranquility in such a short notice ?

Nonetheless, the knowledge of such an existance arouses my curiosity and appetite all over again ..

Var Mısın Yok Musun ?

Yokum !

----

İ know, without the lows, highs don't mean anything. Yet, this ordeal is killing me gently !
The plausibility of exiling this stupor moment of Lô - Lâ's life, seems nihil !

The sirene is wailing,
tâ tü tâ tüü ..

Daredevil is ready to tackle the world !

You know, İ am having serious difficulty with expressing myself in any language.. The words must be chosen carefully and delicately, since İ feel the fatiqueness vading and the frigideness returning. Revealing the ultime barierre again, and unsolving the poluted hearts and trusts in lakes' dirty water ...
Opening yourself is a huge deal, specially when you have serious trust issues. However, on and off you want to get indulged into different worlds even tough this world gets demolished within seconds. İ know that İ might sound a bit bitter and agitaded, yet it is nothing more than being aghast. Seriously, the world is getting smaller and smaller, people are getting more transparent .. Sighh !! How in Lords name did İ miss this ?! Could İ feel even more stupid and violated !

İn conclusion, İ have made a terrible mistake, for İ should have remained in my safe-zone and never left my void, my dystopia. Hence the 'real' world made itself abundantly clear that there is no room for my 'sobriety'. İn this world, Lô - Lâ is a misfit, but that is not trivial, since she totally rocks in my world ..

Yeah, up to new adventures ....